Have you ever thought of becoming a dad (or a mom) in the future? I mean really, a lot of us are eyeing to becoming one before, especially during those times when we’re just starting to feel attracted to the opposite sex, getting-to-know stages, and then becoming BF/GF in the process. I even recall telling myself na minsan for the particular girl that I am currently steady with, it’s always my inkling to assume that I will marry her and have kids later on. Most of us guys would probably agree to that premise. However, sometimes in the process of discovering about your GF (or BF), this statement often doesn’t happen, especially when you guys eventually break up, or worse… become indifferent towards each other.

In my experience, I’ve gone to four serious relationships (one during high school, one in college, 2 post-college a.k.a. working na), most of which averaging 2-4years at most. So as in serious talaga! And among the 4, two only have I thought of, well, probably ending up sana. The 3rd one was the almost likely candidate whom I thought of ending up down the aisle. Yet, there was something that I wasn’t sure of myself back then. I didn’t know if it was about the situation or some external factors, or was I ready for it, or was she ready for it, or there’s somebody that I miss out. And funny thing ‘cuz I was already on the stage of making plans with the 3rd one. Sad to say, I eventually broke up with her. And honestly, it turned out to be a good thing (sorry about her, baka you guys might think I’m an insensitive A-hole because of that!)

So where does the dream of becoming a dad came into the picture? Right after the last breakup. And did I really look forward of becoming one since I got married last January 2005. Well actually even before i got married, I’ve always longed to become a Dad really. You see, my wife had a kid back then. And I remember the first time I visited her at her home in Sta. Rosa, Laguna, I already fell in love with her daughter. After that, I always dreamt of how it would feel like if I did became her dad. I even used to tell my friends back in Manila that someday, I am going to be someone she’ll call Dad. Surprisingly, the Lord had His ways of making things happen, and true enough, things just fell into place. I married my Kaye in January 2005 (whom I’ve had a super-dooper, ultimate, unwavering CRUSH for 9 years), and by right of marriage, Kaye’s daughter Kara becomes my stepkid. It’s truly an unexplainable feeling that the girl you’ve dreamt of having kids with, now becomes your circle of life. Much more than this is the knowledge that I did became a father to someone so precious and beautiful, even if you’re not biologically related. I tell you, not all guys with go the same way that I did.

Now, 4 years later, Kaye & I were blessed with two more chikitings, Jeremy and Cassie. And with 3 loving kids, who wouldn’t say a life like is not blessed and ultimately rewarding. In fact, I never guessed that fatherhood would be as this fun and gratifying, despite the difficulties you get to encounter everyday. So when I go back to those times, thinking about that same question I asked myself over and over… “Ano kaya ang feeling na maging isang tatay?” I guess this is how it feels. Parang you always look forward to something more… like more time to spend with the family, more opportunities to enjoy the simple joys with the family I love so dearly. And ultimately, I thank Kaye for that. With a long-standing feeling that was kept for so long, I am so grateful that she help me realized the life I truly wanted.

So for all budding Dads out there, or for those who are still contemplating with the same questions I asked myself before, just read on. And hopefully at the end of this story, you’d realize that becoming a Dad is something worth it. So “paano ang feeling na maging isang Tatay? Ah, ganito pala ‘yun…!”

I say, going back to Puerto Galera was indeed better than the first. And the experience is truly worth remembering, not only because you get to snorkel and go island-hopping or shop for souvenirs… but also the fact that I’d be enjoying great quality time with my two “babies” — my lovely wife Kaye and my “daughter” Kara. Which reminds me why I’m writing a blog for ye’ all. The pic you’re seeing is a intimate, getting to know moment between me and Kara. Funny though ‘cuz things we were discussing here were primarily adult stuff and growing up, of which Kara, surprisingly, asked from me. As a budding (take note, B-U-D-D-I-N-G ha and not what you’re thinking!) dad for her, I obliged myself to the best of my abilities and knowledge to answer things in its most kid-like form. But the mere fact that the shot of me & her was something special, a serile and calm moment along the quiet shores of White Beach, I also begin to realize that I’m already bonding with my “kid” who has longed for a dad and me longing that she would have been mine. I guess moments like that are truly rare to save. Maybe, I’m just thankful that I am there for her. And I guess I am getting the hang of it — I guess this is  how it really feels to be a dad.